she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
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