If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
