I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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