from now on my penis is your penis
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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