I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i've created a new STD.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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