im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
