I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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