dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize