we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
