I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
