you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
