yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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