she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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