I just made out with a guy for $7.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
