I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
handjob tips. give me some.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
