Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
