at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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