I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
