Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
