You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
