my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
