i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
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There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize