Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I think people are normalizing furries
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
