Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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