we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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