Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Are we still banned from the library?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You pole danced in your parka.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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