You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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