The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
