I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
