I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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