chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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