I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
