Can Purell be used as lube?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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