That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
