I think scott just propositioned me for sex
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
