My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
