I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
