I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
