Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
