It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
