oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
