Me too!
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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