we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
