I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
