We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
