It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
