I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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