My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Randomize
