I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
