Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Randomize
