i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
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I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
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Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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