Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
