remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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