some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize