i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize