i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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