The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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