Your tits are I can't wait for
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
