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I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
