I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
