my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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