I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
