I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
