Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You've changed since you got that strap on
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
