i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
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his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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