then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
