Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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