Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
