Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
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sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
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It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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