at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
i think my cat just said my name.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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