the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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