a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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