no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
