Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
