as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
