Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You may now shotgun with the bride
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
