Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
